New baby - new sleep pattern

We are home and so blessed - I keep looking at my family and my life and realize daily how much I need to change and become more like Jesus - I seem to feel more messed up each time I look at my savior. He has blessed me with a great family and a beautiful wife and 2 beautiful kids. God has journeyed us through times of feasting and times of famine. Both have been blessings looking back now and seeing how he has changed us to be more like him. That is great it just seems like each step I feel like I have so much more to go to be like Jesus. Now dont think that I am always focused and constantly walking towards teh heart of God - I would love to say that but I would be lying. I mess up about as much as I walk forward - if not more. But I feel like every time I see more of the heart of God I see how much more I need change. Yet I am blessed so much and I cant wait to see what God has next, once we begin to sleep again... :) Thank God for my wife who gives me the nights off...

Man do I stink at blogging... again

Things have been crazy busy - the cd is going good and should be out sometime in the early part of the year. For now all focus is on this beautiful baby( I am biased, she is still not coming out) and when she will show her face. We are at the point where we cant seem to get anything done around the house because she could literally come at any time... I guess that is not too bad cause it works as a good excuse to hang out around the house. Honestly that gets boring though ( dont tell my wife) if every day we are waiting for baby to come, and no baby. But, we are blessed and I could not ask for better circumstances with lily. we will keep you posted when our world gets rocked again.

enjoying some time off but struggling to stop

it is funny... I have time now to go on vacation yet I cant seem to stop. Myself wants to keep going and I still dont know why - the desire to keep moving haunts me as I take time to sit and relax. I find it funny that I cant stop even to stop blogging... :) let me know how you feel about this one - do you struggle to stop too without feeling like you need to keep going- Im curious about how you do with this one

I dont blog enough...

Wow am I slow with blogging - I guess I get so busy with life - this last week was my boys birthday party and I have to say that I am so in love with my Him.  Not to get to spiritual on you but it has shown me the love of Jesus towards us as his children.  There are times when all I do is think about him and my wife and love where I am and love them so much.  Scripture tells me that Gods thought towards us are endless.  Then there are times when I get so angry with him that he disobeys and decides to do what he wants regardless of the actions... I am probably the only one who feels that way ( well... I hope not).  At those times when I get mad I am always amazed at how much I am in love with my boy.  I mean even at that exact moment no body takes precedence over him.  I would not love anyone any more than him - he could not ever get away from my love and I would never let him... that is how God is for us - amazing!  He is so in love with us even when we sin and walk away that he sits there and just continues to love us, so what is our response.  well normally I would say God hates me and does not want anything to do with us and then I begin to think about my boy and I say to myself - I am nothing close to how incredible God is and i would never walk away from my boy and then I realize that God has never left or better yet is thinking how much he loves me... it makes me think - I have a lot to learn about forgiveness and the act of accepting it... I hope helps - God bless

bill

Our dreams and the Heart of God

Wait - I need to start over - I mean the Heart of God and then our dreams...

it is amazing how good God is... In the past few years God has done a good job destroying all that I have pursued - and I am glad.  I keep seeing how much I have battled with wanting to pursue what is on my heart when I came to realize that it wont make me happy.  I am at the place of brokenness in my life where what I want to do is now to seek the heart of God. This may sound real spiritual but I see that daily I dont pursue his heart as much as I want to or should.  I see that what makes me valuable is being his child not what I can do for him.  Now, that is not to say that I still love pursuing my dream it is just not the thing that makes me come alive.  I see now that my dream is to bring him glory and not to bring me overall joy.  My joy should be in knowing Christ more and more, What does that mean - it sounds like such a stupid answer sometimes to cloud the idea that we are not getting what we want so why not make it sound spiritual.  So let me explain... My joy should be in the fact that I dont ever have to worry about tasting hell, that I can talk to the one who created thought and life, and I dont need to have some huge ceremony to do that.  I should be happy that I can hear and see and laugh.  That I have a  beautiful wife and healthy son.  That I can be in a place where life does not have to make sense but know that I can trust the one who gave me life.  I should be satisfied in the fact that I am as important to God as King David and Paul and John, as are you.  I should be happy in knowing that I have a heavenly father who has a character of love  towards me ALWAYS, really ALWAYS.  So I guess when I say knowing God more means seeing that i am blessed and be thankful because things could definitely be worse than they are.  so What am I trying to say in all of this - I pray that as you pursue your dreams you will continue to ask God to make them for Him or to change them.  Our lives are worthless if our plans keep him separate from our direction. So continue to pursue His heart and lean on Him because things will never make sense for most of us and probably never will - God is to big to make sense of so it is our job to trust... keep trudging through the muck ... it will get better, read anyone in the scriptures there is always victory...