I dont blog enough...

Wow am I slow with blogging - I guess I get so busy with life - this last week was my boys birthday party and I have to say that I am so in love with my Him.  Not to get to spiritual on you but it has shown me the love of Jesus towards us as his children.  There are times when all I do is think about him and my wife and love where I am and love them so much.  Scripture tells me that Gods thought towards us are endless.  Then there are times when I get so angry with him that he disobeys and decides to do what he wants regardless of the actions... I am probably the only one who feels that way ( well... I hope not).  At those times when I get mad I am always amazed at how much I am in love with my boy.  I mean even at that exact moment no body takes precedence over him.  I would not love anyone any more than him - he could not ever get away from my love and I would never let him... that is how God is for us - amazing!  He is so in love with us even when we sin and walk away that he sits there and just continues to love us, so what is our response.  well normally I would say God hates me and does not want anything to do with us and then I begin to think about my boy and I say to myself - I am nothing close to how incredible God is and i would never walk away from my boy and then I realize that God has never left or better yet is thinking how much he loves me... it makes me think - I have a lot to learn about forgiveness and the act of accepting it... I hope helps - God bless

bill

Our dreams and the Heart of God

Wait - I need to start over - I mean the Heart of God and then our dreams...

it is amazing how good God is... In the past few years God has done a good job destroying all that I have pursued - and I am glad.  I keep seeing how much I have battled with wanting to pursue what is on my heart when I came to realize that it wont make me happy.  I am at the place of brokenness in my life where what I want to do is now to seek the heart of God. This may sound real spiritual but I see that daily I dont pursue his heart as much as I want to or should.  I see that what makes me valuable is being his child not what I can do for him.  Now, that is not to say that I still love pursuing my dream it is just not the thing that makes me come alive.  I see now that my dream is to bring him glory and not to bring me overall joy.  My joy should be in knowing Christ more and more, What does that mean - it sounds like such a stupid answer sometimes to cloud the idea that we are not getting what we want so why not make it sound spiritual.  So let me explain... My joy should be in the fact that I dont ever have to worry about tasting hell, that I can talk to the one who created thought and life, and I dont need to have some huge ceremony to do that.  I should be happy that I can hear and see and laugh.  That I have a  beautiful wife and healthy son.  That I can be in a place where life does not have to make sense but know that I can trust the one who gave me life.  I should be satisfied in the fact that I am as important to God as King David and Paul and John, as are you.  I should be happy in knowing that I have a heavenly father who has a character of love  towards me ALWAYS, really ALWAYS.  So I guess when I say knowing God more means seeing that i am blessed and be thankful because things could definitely be worse than they are.  so What am I trying to say in all of this - I pray that as you pursue your dreams you will continue to ask God to make them for Him or to change them.  Our lives are worthless if our plans keep him separate from our direction. So continue to pursue His heart and lean on Him because things will never make sense for most of us and probably never will - God is to big to make sense of so it is our job to trust... keep trudging through the muck ... it will get better, read anyone in the scriptures there is always victory...